


The Question

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6576088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of the former Soviet republics in the middle of a coup...  have you lost your entire mind?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Question

**Author's Note:**

> I published this story online on February 2, 2005. It is the first piece of fanfiction I have ever written. I wrote in the West Wing fandom for 3 and a half years, published over 650 works. I hope to import them all here but it will take time. Bear with me, and maybe enjoy my earliest works.

“Well, if that’s all I think I’m going to put the lid on.”

“Actually, CJ?”

“Katie?”

“I am quoting a source close to the Communications office here, CJ has just discovered her pregnancy and she is ecstatic about it.”

“Excuse me? Would you like to tell me who this source is? Anyway, my private life or lack thereof has never been a topic in this room. David?”

“Well, are you two thinking about it? It has been a year and a half, and you are the most popular couple on the hill.”

“The President and the First Lady would have cause for argument there.” CJ replied.

Laughter came from the pressroom.

“Look, right now we don’t have time to think about anything. The second term is my primary concern right now. Getting out of this room as soon as possible is also close to the top of the list. It’s a full lid people.”

CJ grabbed a fistful of papers and rushed out of the room. She stalked down the hall; everyone in spitting distance knew not to bother her.

“10 minutes Carol, no interruptions.”

She slammed the door, turned around, and stifled a scream. Clutching her chest, she stared at Leo McGarry.

“Good morning.”

“Did you get the question?” he asked.

“Oh, I got the question alright.”

He tilted his chin up.

“Sharif?”

“No. Apparently a source close to me has told the press that I am pregnant and ecstatic.”

“Really? Did you answer it?”

CJ sat behind her desk, absently feeding Gail.

“Of course not. I haven’t even told the boys yet and thank you very much but I do not want the President of the United States to find out about it on page six of The Boston Globe.”

“It’d be on page three probably.” Leo replied standing up and going to the door.

“Leo?”

He turned and saw she was pouting. Two thoughts crossed his mind; here comes the hormones and she was so damned cute.

“You’re pouting.”

“How come you never touch me in the west wing anymore? You used to touch me all the time.”

“We are both very busy. There is plenty of time for that outside of the office.”

CJ smirked. That sound and look was familiar to him.

“When are we ever outside of the office?”

“CJ.” Leo sighed.

The pout continued. It was not as if CJ ever complained about his long hours. She was there to massage his neck, cuddle with him after a long day, and she knew things that only God, his sponsor, and Josiah Bartlett knew. If she had not run from the room screaming yet Leo thought he could handle the pout. The pout was cute.

“Come here.”

He took her hand, pulling her into his embrace. She always smelled good, and her body was warm. Leo’s mind flashed to last night... he dragged himself in at 12:30 and she waited up for him. She undressed him, laid him down, and made the softest love to him. How did a recovering alcoholic, hard living Irish Catholic guy get so damned lucky? See, that was why he could not touch her in the west wing anymore.

Leo tilted his chin instinctively, he never told anyone, but CJ’s height turned him on. It just added to the long list of things that made her amazing. Their noses grazed, she could feel the heat of his breath on her and it was mind-blowing... it always was. Just as their lips touched, Carol opened the door.

“CJ, state... ”

“Get out.”

Carol backed out of the room and the McGarrys shared a passionate kiss. CJ smacked Leo’s rump and he smiled.

“I got a thing,” he said. “And so do you. We’ll leave together tonight.”

“Promises promises.”

“You know you're going to have to tell the press eventually. This is not something we can cover up for long.”

She nodded. He blew her a kiss and was gone. Carol replaced him.

“It’s safe Carol. Who am I talking to?”

“Doug Pierce from State.”

CJ nodded, picked up the phone and went back to the chaos.

***

She walked into Toby’s office at 7:30 the next morning with three files and a large coffee. She sat cross-legged on the couch and smiled at her constant companions.

“Good morning boys... I’m pregnant.”

Sam was the first. He sat down beside her, kissed her cheek, and gave her that dazzling Seaborn smile.

“So there is no use in asking about the validity of that free for all in the press room yesterday?” Josh asked.

CJ shook her head.

“Though I am dying to know who that source was. We hadn’t told anyone yet.”

“How long did you think you were going to keep it?” Josh asked her in his ‘why do women do these things’ tone.

“Until we were ready. The President doesn’t know yet.”

“Does Mallory know?” Sam asked.

“We told her last week. Josh, you can tell Donna. I am going to tell Charlie later today. Toby?”

“Yeah?”

“You’ve been quiet.”

“I’m ready to work. I got a thing at 9:30; can we get on with it?”

They settled in to discuss the situation of sending troops to the middle of the desert. CJ tried to make eye contact with Toby but it was not happening. She confronted him as soon as Josh and Sam left. They knew the two of them well enough... their exit was swift.

“What is wrong with you?” she asked.

“Nothing. I am just not in the mood this morning to woo and make nice with people who are supposed to be on our side.”

She stood in front of him and it made Toby nervous. She belonged to someone else now, someone he considered a real friend. She was going to have this man’s child. Maybe even his children, Toby knew from his own recent experience that twins were possible. How did they both get away, CJ and Andi?’

“Are you happy?” he asked.

Her face broke out in the classic CJ smile. Toby got weak in the knees.

“What do you think? Leo is being overprotective, thinks the job is too stressful. It’s so cute when he... ”

Toby cut her off. He had his thing, she had a press briefing, and he could give a damn how Leo was so cute.

***

“Mr. President?”

“Ah Claudia Jean, come on in. Charlie, let the Secretary of Defense know that I’m moving the twelve back to two.”

“Yes sir.”

He smiled at CJ. She had just told him and he hugged her. Toby had not even hugged her.

“Sit, sit.” The President said coming from behind his desk.

“Me. President I have something to tell you that will probably make the news over the next couple of days.”

“Did you get the question?” the President’s tone was somber.

“Oh, no sir. I’m pregnant sir.”

“You're what?”

“Pregnant sir. It has been known to happen to women every once in a while.”

“This is fantastic. Where is that wayward husband of yours?”

“Meeting on the hill sir.”

“OK. I wish I could tell you he’d be home by ten every night given the circumstances.”

“I wish you could tell me I’d be home by 10 sir.” CJ replied.

The President laughed and then smiled.

“How far along are you?”

“Almost 11 weeks. We have our first ultrasound in two weeks.”

CJ’s entire face was aglow.

“Now, on a serious note Mr. President, I have gotten no indication that this Sharif assassination plot is a real story. However, I can tell you that Danny Concannon may try to make it one. I cannot stress enough about being kept in the loop.”

“You better not stress at all young lady.”

“I’m being serious sir.”

She was all business again. The President let his mind wander enough to wonder if her quick succession from business to sweetness turned on his oldest friend. Women were amazing.

“It’s a non-story CJ.” He lied. “”If it gets out of hand we will clamp it down.”

She nodded.

“OK. I have a lot on my plate today.” She stopped just short of the door. “Sir, I hope my announcement does not give you, or anyone else, the impression that I plan on losing my touch.”

“Don’t be silly... I have the utmost confidence in you, I always have. At the same time, there will be a time when I expect you to slow down some.”

“Yes sir.”

CJ walked out of the door.

***

She was tired of it. Nearly a week had gone by and she had not managed to get 10 words out of him, much less one of his rare smiles. She could not even accomplish it when she threatened Josh’s life over their poker game three days ago. Something was wrong in the pit of her stomach, and she knew it was not the baby.

“Bonnie said that I could wait.”

Toby looked at CJ and then closed the door behind him.

“You did well this morning. It was a smart move to throw out North Korea during take out the trash day.”

“I didn’t come to talk about that.” She said.

“Well, Josh is meeting Stanhope at two.” He sat in his chair. “We are going to pass the test ban treaty... hopefully.”

“Wrong again.”

“You don’t think we’re going to pass the treaty?”

“Toby, why aren’t you speaking to me?”

Toby focused his attention on the stack of papers on his desk. Now was not the time for this.

“Don’t be ridiculous CJ. The past couple of days have been busy.”

“We played poker, ate lunch in the same room. Ever since I told you that I was pregnant, you have given me the cold shoulder. Is this about Andi?”

“No.” he gave his patented Toby sigh. “Maybe my motives are completely selfish. I do not want to lose my best friend. Are you satisfied now?”

Toby never told CJ that she was his best friend. She figured she always knew deep down... he was the one who rescued her from California and brought her to the Bartlet campaign. He was the one who introduced her to Leo McGarry and the first one she trusted with the secret of their love affair.

“You are not going to lose me. I love you.”

Toby sucked his teeth.

“Andi said that once, you were there. Those words are not set in stone.”

“I am not your ex-wife. We promised once to change the world together and I plan to hold you to it. Who is going to teach my kid to sigh and scowl if you're not around?”

“That’s not funny.” He said, though he wore a half-smile.

CJ threw her arms around him and Toby had no option but to hug her back. He found comfort in her warmth and managed a real smile when she looked at him again.

“Love fest over.” She said. “You are going to stop being moody OK? Well, stop being this moody with me. Jr. needs a godfather and that is you. I have to go.”

“CJ?”

“Yeah?”

“I really am happy for you.”

“I know Tobus. Despite all of the ups and downs of this job we are all going to be OK.”

***

Leo walked into the house at 8:30, the earliest in nearly a month. Downstairs was dark as he locked up. He put his keys and a few other random things from his pockets on the table in the foyer. He went up the stairs and into the bedroom. His beautiful wife had CNN on mute and was poring over the New York Times crossword puzzle. It was Wednesday.

“What are you doing here?” she asked after he kissed her hello. 

“Well,” he began to undress. “I know that your husband works ridiculous hours so I thought I would take my chances.”

He turned to see her smile and it melted his heart.

“The President sent me home. He wanted to give me the morning but we have an 8:30 with the South Korean ambassador and a 10 o’clock with Japan.”

CJ nodded. She drank some of the ginger ale sitting on the bedside table. Leo came and sat on the edge of the bed. She was wearing his boxers and put his hand on her knee.

“You sick baby.” He asked.

“Not really. My food did not agree completely but it stayed down. Toby and I are on speaking terms again.”

Leo nodded. He knew that the friendship ever since she told him about the relationship almost three years ago. The first administration was tough on everyone; Leo did not intend to fall in love. He had just lost Jenny, and to be honest had never looked at CJ that way. Well, not while he was awake. To be sure, he believed she was a capable, honest, and beautiful woman. She was also out of his league. It never occurred to him until the night she walked into his office.

“Leo, do you just stand up against the wall and plug yourself in for a few hours?”

“Excuse me?”

She came to sit in his visitor’s chair.

“The place is deserted. Do you ever go home?”

“You’re still here; and I would not call a hotel suite home.”

“I’m sorry. I am here because the President is speaking tomorrow on healthcare initiatives, which you already know. I think its time to call it a night.”

Leo looked at his watch. He had no idea it was after one a.m. He stood and started to pack his bag.

“I was going to wind down with some coffee and pie, wanna join me?” She asked.

“What? Is that... ?”

“It is coffee and pie Leo, not room service at the Hilton.”

She laughed then and he noted in the recesses of his mind that it was pretty. He smiled.

“Right. Still, I think I had better just call it a night. I have a thing at 8 and we have staff at nine.”

He turned down her first offer. He had no idea that anything was behind it but he turned it down. Then the next day he laughed to himself as he watched her and Josh bicker in the staff meeting. It was just coffee and pie, as if CJ Cregg would ever be interested in him. At the State Dinner the next week, he managed to get her alone for five minutes.

“I see that the First Lady has started her own version of the Love Connection.” He said.

He had taken her out on the dance floor, using his only five free minutes of the night to save her from Gary the cardiologist.

“She means well.” CJ replied. “I’m single, in my 30s, and have a high powered job. Men are not beating down my door Leo.”

“Men have never seen you in this dress.”

She smiled then, her hand finding the back of his neck. Leo held his breath.

“Aren’t you supposed to be off diffusing crises?” she asked. “What’s going on with the shifting hurricane?”

“How about for the next 2 or 3 minutes we dance to this song and forget everything else?”

His hand slid up her back. CJ turned her head a bit so he could feel her breath in his ear.

“You really look beautiful tonight CJ.” He was whispering. “You want to wait around for me tonight? I think that I may be in dire need of coffee and pie.”

“Yes.”

To this day CJ had no idea why she answered so quickly, only that it felt right. They had coffee and pie nearly every night for 2 weeks. Then he took her to a few dinners at his favorite restaurant in Arlington. Then she showed him the stars from the roof of her building.

“I don’t think that the Secret Service has this place secured.” Leo said, pulling his coat around him. It was mid January and the temperatures dropped quickly.

“You can't secure heaven.” CJ replied.

She shivered against the wind. Leo put his arms around her from behind... she leaned on his arm.

“This is so beautiful Leo. It reminds me of all that we have out there.”

“You're beautiful Claudia Jean. And you remind me of all that is out there.”

Their first kiss was effortless, no awkward head movement or bumped foreheads. CJ leaned down, Leo looked up and they met halfway. It felt as if he already knew her mouth... as if they had kissed millions of times before.

“You’ve kissed tall women before.” She said as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

“At this moment it doesn’t seem to matter that I’ve kissed anyone before.”

They made love that night and Leo never looked back. CJ was going to be his, for the first time in his life he did not care about the press, the senior staff, or the President of the United States. The only reason they kept it a secret as long as they did was so that they could settle into a relationship before the whirlwind. CJ had to remember Leo was privy to things she never would be... Leo had to remember that CJ took her job and position in the West Wing very seriously.

“You’re off in space somewhere.” CJ said, bringing her husband back to the present. To her in his boxers and a Bartlet/Hoynes tee shirt.

“Long day. I’m glad it’s over. Do you need anything; I’m going to make coffee.”

“Bring Oreos up with you. And before you go give me the name of the White House Chief of Staff.”

Leo smiled; he made the crossword puzzle again.

“Make sure that they spelled it right. It’s your name now too.”

***

CJ slid down from on top of Leo, curling her body around his like a boa constrictor. They were both breathing hard, he probably more so than she... the woman wore him out sometimes. She was kissing his neck and his ear, getting ready for Round 2. Leo slid his hand up her sweaty back. There was no comparison to CJ’s back.

“Hormones?” he asked.

“Did I hurt you love?” she was still busy with her task.

When she asked him things like that, it was hard to imagine that he ever loved anyone but her; that his life started three years ago at that State dinner.

“Never. I love you.”

“Then satisfy me again.”

CJ rolled over on her back, bringing Leo with her. He pressed his flat palms to the bed on either side of her. She squirmed some, he was ready but he liked to tease first.

“You're beautiful.” He ran his hand down the front of her body.

“Umm.” CJ lifted her thighs, wrapping her legs around him. “Why are we still talking?”

“This is definitely hormones.” Leo replied.

“Are you going to complain, Mr. McGarry?”

“Oh no Mrs. McGarry, not in the least.”

***

“We have a situation.”

CJ looked up; her glasses perched on her nose. Sam and Josh were standing in the doorway. Sam walked in first and Josh closed the door. Nearly a week had passed since CJ made her announcement to the West Wing. Today was the last day of her first trimester... tomorrow was her ultrasound.

“What? Damn, did one of you get the question?”

She was so tired of saying that. At this point, she hardly knew anymore what the question was. Something had happened after the whole Qumar mess and CJ knew in her bones that it was enough to rock the administration. She also figured her husband was up to his eyeballs in it.

“There is a coup attempt happening right now in Belarus.” Sam said.

“Where?”

“Belarus. The Prime Minister is under house arrest and the military have taken over Minsk. The leader wants to talk and we are sending a team.”

“Who?”

“Fitzwallace, Kate, Thompson from State... ” Josh chimed in.

“Leo.” Sam muttered.

“You better not have said what I think you just said.”

“CJ.” Sam pleaded.

“He cannot do this! He cannot go to a country that is falling apart!” she found that she was yelling.

“It is his job CJ.” Josh reasoned.

“No its not! He stopped walking into landmines years ago.” She got up and flung her office door open. Sam looked helplessly at Josh.

“I really wish you wouldn’t do this.” Sam said.

CJ turned to them and there were tears glistening in her eyes. She willed them not to fall.

“Tomorrow is our first ultrasound.”

She tore off down the hall.

“Is he in?” She asked Margaret.

Margaret looked up at her and tried the smile.

“He is in with Admiral Fitzwallace. He said... ”

“I’ll wait.”

She sat down on the couch and crossed her leg. She willed herself to calm down but it was not working. What the hell was he thinking? Fitz opened the door and CJ was inside before anyone could stop her. Not that Margaret was ever going to make the attempt. She’d seen CJ pissed a couple of times at her boss and some said that the McGarry couple had the same temperament at times.

“CJ, you're glowing. I hear congratulations are in order.”

She looked at him and managed to put on her CJ smile.

“I am not going to be glowing for long Admiral.”

He smiled and walked quickly from the office. She slammed the door behind him.

“Please.” It was all Leo could say before she started in.

“Belarus! One of the former Soviet republics in the middle of a coup... have you lost your entire mind! What the hell are you thinking? I don’t even know what to say to you; what would possess you to walk into a war zone? You have other things to consider now.”

“I have always had other things to consider.” Leo replied.

“Is that all you have to say! I cannot believe that you are doing this... you could die.”

“I have a job to do CJ and you have always known it. Our relationship cannot affect the way I do my job.”

“Our relationship? Don’t you dare talk to me as if I am some pissed off mistress! I am carrying your child inside of me Leo! Did you think about us before signing on for your kamikaze mission?”

“Lower your voice!”

“Fuck you! Is that low enough for you?”

“It is two days and we are taking military and State Department. This is a no-brainer and you know it; I have done it countless times with my eyes closed. This is hormones.”

“Hormones!” she took the paperweight from his desk and sent it crashing to the floor. Leo looked at her with wide hazel eyes. CJ was not the throwing type. Except that one time in Miami...

“You are going to miss the ultrasound.” She‘d started to cry and was damning herself. She never wanted to use tears to get to him. It was beneath the both of them.

“CJ.” He stood and came around his desk.

“Don’t touch me!” she put her hands up to keep him away. She backed up until she hit the door. “Don’t you come near me!”

Leo took a deep breath, his hands resting at his sides.

“Claudia Jean McGarry, you're worried that I am ready to walk into a firestorm and you're not even going to let me hold you?”

She melted into his embrace and let the tears fall.

“You have to be safe there.” She mumbled against his collar. “Don’t go a million miles to die on me.”

“I am not going to die. I will not belittle your worrying but telling you that you are overreacting. Its 48 hours baby.”

She pulled him tighter to her; her tears were more vocal. Leo rubbed her back.

“It’s OK CJ, I promise.”

“Do not make me promises like that.”

She pulled herself from him and he wiped her tears.

“You have a briefing in 40 minutes; you have to pull yourself together.” He whispered the last part. “Didn’t we make a pact with each other?”

CJ nodded, taking a couple of deep breaths.

“Stop making fun of my hormones.” She said.

He smiled and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around and pushed her tongue in his mouth. Leo caressed her face.

“I love you, and I love him too.” His hand found her abdomen, still flat but showing signs of strain.

“How do you know it’s a he?” she asked.

“Daddy’s intuition. You have to go.”

She nodded, kissing him once more and telling him that she loved him.

“We’re leaving at 7 o’clock tonight.” He said. “Sam has agreed to go to the ultrasound with you and there will be no arguing on the subject. If the press has any Belarus questions... ”

“I know, the President is looking into it. Please be safe.”

“I will. I love you.”

She gave him the thumbs up and left the room. It took all the strength he had not to run after her. He had a job to do and right now she had to come second, as much as he hated it.

“Margaret!”

***

Thirty-two hours later CJ and Sam sat in her doctor's office. CJ clearly looked peeved and Sam was whiter than a sheet.

“Hey Spanky, I am not giving birth today.” She said.

He smiled and it was genuine.

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

“A bit, I have never done this before. Add to it that I have a novice standing next to me... no offense.”

“None taken. Where is the doctor?”

The doctor came into the room, all smiles. She wanted to know about CJ’s morning sickness and introduced herself to Sam, who she recognized from TV. She asked about Leo, but got the brush off... he had a lot to do today, things he could not ignore. CJ shifted on the uncomfortable gurney. The doctor lifted the gown and Sam averted his gaze.

“Sam, you are not going to see anything but my stomach.” She said.

“That is enough.”

“This from the guy who thought I would rub him down in coconut oil.” She smirked.

Sam smiled and blushed. That afternoon he and CJ saw a blob that the doctor assured her was her child. The view got a bit clearer when the doctor showed them a hand and the head. CJ squeezed Sam’s hand when they heard the heartbeat for the first time.

On the way home CJ wanted a milkshake so they stopped at Dairy Queen. She seemed content for the first time since Leo got on the plane last night.

“It was pretty amazing CJ.” He said.

She looked at him and smiled, her words interrupted by Sam’s cell phone. It was Josh.

“What’s up?”

“We have a problem.”

He tried to listen, drive, and keep a straight face as he drove into the underbelly of the White House.

“What’s up?” CJ asked.

“Josh needs to see us.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know... I lost contact.”

She looked at him but was still flying high from her milkshake and her baby. Charlie directed them to the Oval office when they reached Josh’s office and Sam had to push down his instinct to take CJ’s hand. He did not want to worry her. He felt a bit sick himself, as Josh was not able to give him much information during their short phone call. They walked into the Oval office and it struck CJ as weird that the entire senior staff was there and Leo was not. She stopped when she saw Nancy McNally. NSA... what was happening?”

“Mr. President.” She managed to get out before sitting next to Josh.

“There was an attack on the US Embassy in Minsk. Several explosions, a hostage situation that has been diverted, and some American casualties.”

CJ closed her eyes and felt the dread creep in and make her blood go cold. Her hand came up to cover her face; she could not lose it in this room.

“Leo?” she asked, not realizing she’d said it aloud until Nancy started to speak.

“He was injured but pulled out of major harm’s way. We will not know the extent of his injuries until they reach Rammstein and that may not be 5-8 hours our time.”

5-8 hours, that was ridiculous. There was no point in being the greatest power in the world if you couldn’t get information faster than that... the whole world could change in the blink of an eye and CJ was going to have to wait 5-8 hours or more to find out if she was going to see her husband again. Pulled out of harm’s way my ass; it was her job to spin these tragic tales. The last thing she remembered was standing up.

***

“I have a press briefing.” She complained as Toby held her down. “Get off of me Toby!”

“We sent in Ed, what do you think you have a deputy for? You are staying here.”

“Oh God.” She turned on her side and clutched her abdomen. “This cannot be happening, he promised me.”

“CJ, are you alright.”

“I’m going to throw up.” She groaned.

Toby went to the door and told Ginger to bring him a bucket ASAP. Donna came into the room.

“Is she alright?” she stood against the far wall as CJ lost her lunch. This was not literal; she’d barely eaten.

“I need to eat.” She grumbled. “Chicken, maybe a salad, some bread.”

Toby took the chance to run to the mess. Donna sat beside her on the couch.

“He’s going to be alright CJ.” She said, taking her hand. “Not to be dark, but if the President knew he was dead he would not keep it from you.”

“The President is good at keeping secrets.” She said in an angry tone.

“OK, touché. Well, you love him. What does your heart tell you?”

“That Leo will do whatever necessary to get back to me.” She gasped but did not cry.

Donna rubbed her hand. CJ looked at her; the sympathy look was going to kill her. Leo was not dead, dammit! Stop looking at me like that! Toby came back with lunch. CJ ate as if her life depended on it. Josh poked his head in the doorway to get Donna’s attention. He didn’t have a good look on his face and Donna’s stomach dropped. She excused herself.

“What’s going on?” CJ asked.

“nothing.” Toby replied sitting down beside her.

“You’re lying. Joshua!”

He stuck his head in.

“Nothing CJ, this is about policy. Excuse us.”

He and Donna hustled down the hall and CJ looked after them. She reluctantly returned to her food.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do if something happened to him.” She said it barely above a whisper.

Toby shifted uncomfortably.

“Eat your lunch CJ, you need your strength. We should be hearing something soon.”

She nodded but her heart wasn’t in it. Toby put his hand on her shoulder.

“I have a meeting.” He said.

“Go, don’t let me and my neuroses keep you. Walk me back to my office.”

A dozen peach roses were waiting for her in her office. She gasped and broke down; Toby had to scramble to save her lunch.

“What is this?” he asked as Carol came into the room.

“They came about an hour ago.” Carol said helping CJ into her chair.

“Leo.” She said, nearly sending the vase tumbling as she grabbed for the card.

‘I’ll be back to you as soon as humanly possible. You love me and you know it, love Leo’

“I’m OK.” She said as Carol fawned over her. “I’m fine. Toby, you have a thing and I have to prepare for the press briefing.”

“Ed is prepared to... ”

“I am the White House Press Secretary. It is not in my best interest to not go out there and do the job to the best of my ability. If I could stand there and brief the press after one of my best friends took a nearly fatally wounded, I can do it now. Especially since I am Mrs. Leo McGarry.”

“The questions could get personal.” Toby said before he left the room.

“Let them. Carol, get me the briefings and call Josh in here.”

Again, she was all business.

“Oh, and the world stops if Nancy McNally calls.”

“Right.”

It was back to business as usual... it had to be.

***

That night in the shower CJ still had no news. Her only sense of comfort was that she felt she would know if Leo was dead... she was sure that her own heart would cease to beat. That and the stirrings of his child in her stomach. It was that or the pepperoni pizza that Charlie forced her to eat before she left the White House tonight. Drying off in the bathroom she could hear Michael McDonald interpreting Motown in the bedroom. She dressed in Leo’s pajamas; he always left them on the hook behind the bathroom door. They smelled of him... smelled of the rain scented soap she loved so much on his skin. She smiled at herself in the mirror; they were a bit short.

In the bedroom CJ’s breath caught in her throat. Her husband was sitting on his side of the bed propped up on pillows. She closed her eyes and opened them again.

“It’s not a dream, I’m really here.”

“Oh God.” She felt as if she could not breathe. Her legs were both immobile and rubbery. “Leo.”

She rushed to his open arms.

“Careful, careful, my wrist is broken. Luckily, it’s not my writing hand.”

“Oh, I could care less about your writing hand... I’m just glad that it wasn’t all that was left for them to send to me. Oh your face.”

She caressed the bruise on his forehead and the cuts on his chin. Leo put his hand on top of hers.

“You are never leaving me again. Hold me tighter.”

“Were you scared?” he asked.

She looked at him with dry eyes. Leo was taken aback by the look; he had dubbed it her ‘smack you across the mouth’ look years ago.

“I was terrified.” She was in his arms again. “I thought you were dead and I was going to be alone and we would never argue about the crossword puzzle again. I kept imagining standing there as they carried that flag draped coffin.”

Leo ran his hands down her hair.

“I’m here CJ, I’m not leaving you again. I saw you on CNN this evening. You were the picture of professionalism; I was so proud of you.”

“I have a job to do and an office to represent.” CJ replied. “I am the mouthpiece of the President.”

“Spoken like a trooper.” Leo said. “Cute pajamas.”

“I wanted to be close to you. I needed to smell you.”

“Here I am. All I wanted to do was get back to you and let you know I was alright. How was the ultrasound? Are we alright?”

CJ shook her head and he was concerned.

“I don’t want to talk about any of that now. I just want to hold you.”

Leo reached down and began to unbutton her pajamas.

“What are you doing?” a broad smile crossed her lips and it lit the damp room.

“I want to feel your skin, you want to smell me. This is easily negotiable.”

“I love you so much.” She said, wrapping herself around his body when she was naked and he was nearly so.

He turned to look at her.

“Sometimes. I wish there was something to say beyond that.” He said. “Most of the time it does not seem like enough. What is that line from that awful Tom Cruise movie? When he is the sports agent... you made me sit through it?”

“You complete me.” She ran her fingers down his chest.

“Mmm, that’s it. It comes kind of close.”

He kissed her. CJ felt like she did the night of their first kiss. She pulled him as close to her as she could.

“I need you Leo. I need to know that you’re alive and I just need to feel you feeling me.”

Leo caressed her neck, placing soft kisses there. CJ moaned against him, sliding her leg up his.

“You need to feel me?” his voice was husky on her ear.

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“Everywhere. Don’t you dare stop.”

Leo was not sure if CJ had any real comprehension how in love with her he was. It could have been because he was the master of the poker face. He made sure it was not because he did not express it. With her he pushed it all away, the bravado, and the machismo... whatever they chose to call it when a man thinks hiding his thoughts and feelings is sexy. It was unacceptable for her and he found that he wanted to tell her everything. She knew all of his past demons, every dirty detail. Bartlet Administration business had to stay in his pocket. Even if it killed him sometimes Leo McGarry was a professional secret keeper and politician; some things just came naturally to him. The fact that CJ never pressed him for things she knew that he was aware of only made him love her more.

CJ arched her back and bucked her hips to meet the rhythm of his fervent thrusts. Leo kissed her neck and her shoulders.

“Oh God!”

She gripped him by the shoulder until it nearly hurt, then she leaned to kiss his lips as she climaxed. Again she curled herself around him.

“Forgive me but I have got to hold you tight.” She said.

“Forgive you for what? The fact that you love me, though a constant mystery, is my largest source of comfort. You are going to be the mother of my child CJ. When the explosions were all around us in Minsk, all I could think was that if I died on you that you were going to kill me.”

She smiled.

“This may seem a silly question, but were you scared?”

Leo shook his head.

“I was worried about you, and Mallory... about the circus that would ensue when the President sought a replacement. I thought of all the people I never liked showing up for my funeral.”

Now CJ openly laughed. She put his face in her hands.

“I’m OK baby.” He whispered, pressing his mouth to hers.

“I know that in my head. My heart and my stomach are a different story. When I got those flowers today... ”

“I did not expect them to be my swan song. I just didn’t want you to be upset with me, I can never live with it. This is why I spoil you, to stay on your good side.”

CJ nodded, she was falling asleep. Leo could feel her body relax beside his. Her lips were light and soft on his neck and he took a deep breath. He was back in her arms and would think long and hard before he left them again. For a moment he felt guilt, he had never felt that with jenny, the job had been the job. Still, the thought of CJ’s face in his office that afternoon killed him. He had other people to consider now. Leo wrapped his arms around her bare back.

“Goodnight Claudia Jean.”


End file.
